Transparencies

Sometimes my insecurities can take over, and I feel like I am a fraud.  I am not really who I think I am.  I am not good enough at this or that.  Thoughts that I am not a good enough mother, or a good enough photographer plague me.  And at the same moment that I feel these emotions and feel these thoughts trying to control me,  I logically can see the transparency of it all.  Good enough,  what does that even mean.  Everything, and I mean everything in life is relative.   What is good enough for someone is not for another.  Why do I care if I am good enough.  If I am doing my best at something (albeit, occasionally failing) that is enough.  That should be enough for me.  Do I love taking fotos?  Yes.  Does it make me happy?  Yes.  Do I enjoying pushing myself to take better and better fotos?  Yes.  So it is.  That is enough.  I am enough.  You are enough.  Just the way we are.  Sure we can always strive to be better, that is a good thing, but we can also appreciate how far we have come and wherever we are on our journey.  Sit in the moment and take it in, and try (at least I try) to be grateful.
 This image of a slightly translucent and rather minuscule flower was a bit of challenge for me.  I like to shoot with a shallow depth of field (DOF), but I am discovering that I really have to close down my aperture (bigger f numbers) in order to get enough of the these tiny things in focus.  This of course shuts out more light.  This process makes me think how grateful I am that I finally worked up the nerves some years back to get out of P mode and go over to manual. The process I now go through to zone in on the correct settings is almost like a form of meditation,  and though the results are not always the best,  the process, the journey, is a success in itself.